Serenity and Conflict

Words Stay Longer

2011-07-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

At my desk on a newsy tuesday
I look out for a glimpse of quiet
the rays of the sun give way
a surprise rain patters
dampens the window pane
raises my spirit

Still typing away
I want to step out
I imagine people, on the roads
some shielding themselves
some welcoming
the piercing cold drops

But I can only stare
at the window
It is now hazy
Droplets devour it in a lovers' embrace

I can feel them on me
I sit and dream
recreate memory
words hidden in the sound
of the slashing rain

Scenes travel fast
some stay
But the words stay longer
like the smell
of freshly quenched soil,
like the calm chaos
after the storm
like the brown leaves
broken, scattered about

words stay longer...
like the rain
one now with the soil
immersed deep

Dream

2011-07-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Dream
a land a space
where bizzare is routine
routine is offensive
either you are enriched with extraordinary powers
or somebody is running after you wanting to kill you

It is closet of red fears
purple affection

A place of black seas
milky mountains
chocolate rivers
pancake roads
of moonlight glow and twilight calm
morning chaos and afternoon bliss
evening red sun, and the night wrhite moon

A land of overflowing desires
and of memories changed

Calm

2011-05-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

I have always loved the sea. It's only natural that i do, I have lived beside it for 20 years.

I also remember the time I was a liitle girl and scared by the huge waves, scared they would swallow me. I used to run as far away as i could from them. As the years passed the sea was still mighty, my perception of it changed. I loved the sea for the very characteristics that I used to be scared of.

There is certain hidden calm in the waves thrashing on the rocks. They ebb, rising again to corrode the sand, to slowly continue its work on the rock creating moist life, shaping it. The waves rising washing away details.

Mother nature has given us another pehenomenon the majestic mountains. They are at altitudes I can't even fathom, covered in snow, white as a sheet. The afternoon sun glistening, reflecting on the snow, shining in my eyes. It sparks warmth within me and cool clamness.

Night descends quicker in the mountains. It is pitch dark, the sound of the stream below is also heard. Miles of quiet.

When the moon rises the sea is voluminous, consuming. Loud and high the waves beckon. Chaos.

The sea with its friction breathes into me conflict. The mind and heart quarreling, then reaching stillness.

The majestic mountain, panic it brings. Pitch black silence and the sweet flowing stream soothes me.

Sea and its secrets

2011-02-19T06:32:00.001-08:00

The vast sea
and the immense secrets it holds

the waves consume
all what is fed

darkest thoughts
feeble sandcastles
names of sceret lovers
old memories written and photographed
words spoken, unspoken

The sand by the sea
a slate
every footprint
every toy
every name
evary sandcastle
drawn

The sea a duster
with a swish of waves
takes them in
details
stories
lives

Relative Awkwardness

2011-02-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

After a long day at work, I decided to take the bus home. It toook me 20 lazy minutes to get to my bus stop. Walking back home, simultaneously observing passers by.

Strangely this part of town, that I have recently moved into, has a host of ethnic groups inhabiting the place. So it is not a surprise to find coloured people around.

Today on the sidewalk a chinese couple, and what seemed like an African gay couple crossed each others path. Each couple looking at the other in "awk". "What are they wearing" must have been the general feeling.

To me each couple was eqaully wierd. One tiny,colourful,flowy and yellow. One loose,dreadlocky,junkie and brown.

To them either was odd and awkward. To me both of them were awkwardly dreesed. Relative awkwardness?

City Lights

2010-09-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

City Lights
Look up at me
in patterns of surprising beauty
in happiness
and sadness

The vastness of the city
subtracted as I fly by
shapes moving in a single file
one end to another
streams of criss crossing lights

Colours,shapes,constellations, below
from my little window
I cant help
but look
to dream
to experience
the intricate possibilities

Different cities
Different lives
their golden lights
and the emanating glow

Fury

2010-08-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

The Rain it comes down
with a fury within
a rage
to envelope
to encircle

the earth with green brightness
to quench
the brown rust
of its thirst
slowly,
but in a rush
tear drops
unfurl, slide down
the dark robes
of the witch

reach the roots
creep up the trunk
and to the branches
the leaves,
now green, quiver
quarrle, squabble
incite more rage

the witch from above
lashes out
weeps again.

Twirl

2010-07-31T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hot pink
and chilled liquid
moulded, shaped in a
glistening cruked glass

the sight of it
oh so sooothing
the smell of it calming
dont need to sip it
already hallucinating

then you do
and its sting takes you
to a place
that place you
want to stay
that place you have built

twirl the glass
your emotions a whirlpool
swim, try and escape

sip again
stung again
another whirlpool

try swimming out
untill you drown

'I wont forget today'

2010-06-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

How often have you said "I will never forget this day, it was the most amazing day ever"
Then after few months, or a year, you have another experience, that you think you wont forget for a lifetime.
You meet newer people, more interesting than the last, Have a lot more to drink and sustain, you go places, pieces fit togther to make it possible, do something you have never done before, drive around town at 4 am, sleep in a sleeping bag, walk around in think fog, chat with complete strangers on the side walk, witness an accident, you stay up all night singing to welcome the sunrise at 7 am because its winter..
Another day comes and you do entirely different things...

Days will come and go and you will find yourself saying again "I wont forget today"

Moonlight

2010-06-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

The twinkle in your eyes
reminds me, of the time
the nights when we were one

In the glow of the moonlight
On your face and mine
and on our glorious intertwined selves
In it we shivered
and nestled

More than Chemicals

2010-06-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

You and I are more than chemicals...
We are thinking beings,
actions stimulated by testesterone
and harmoned by oxitocin

hormones to make love
hormones to make you want to cuddle
hormones to attract

But is that it?
hormones make us do what we do?
does it make us fall in love
and fall out? or lust?

We are not mere homo sapiens
acting on chemical impulses
you and I are more than chemicals..

My Perfect Journey

2009-12-15T05:57:00.000-08:00

I started traveling alone 4 years ago. I have been through at least a 100 bus journeys, 4 flights but only 2 train journeys, on my own.
A train journey in India is different form all other forms of commute. And when one is alone its always an experience.
For a couple of days men become best friends,get down at a stations together for a smoke; auntys, uncles, grand parents have 'chai' together; Everyone has fun with the little kid in the compartment; Snacks and meals are shared.
I see it like a house on wheels. Passengers behave like family, asking intruding questions, routinely; politics are discussed, faiths examined, life history dramatised and ethnic lineage scrutinized. Arguments happen in the process.
Passengers leave the train at stations, goodbyes and perfectly functional relationships are forgotten. Few exchange contact details, fewer keep in contact. Nobody complains. Everyone knows the deal. And why should one when a journey is satisfactory...

What i know now is that i love traveling alone and in a train, there is enough time to get to know few people and forget them... I am alone i can talk to anyone if an aunty asks me personal questions, i can always find a cute guy somewhere, an amiable girl or a group of youngsters to share thoughts, books, and watch movies on a laptop.
My satisfactory journey...

Cooking and the husband

2009-09-25T11:36:00.001-07:00

Why is a woman's character, judged by her ability to cook?
I have lost count of how many times,my grandmother,seemingly distant aunts, and some relative I would have heard of for the first time, won't refrain from asking me, what can I cook, how do I cook, how often do I cook and what recipe do I use. The rest of the questions follow only if the first question is answered in the affirmative.

And what happens if just to incite them, I say 'no I cant cook'. They look at me as if I just started an avalanche. This is almost always what anyone, by that I mean any woman after puberty, would get if she said she did'nt know how to cook." We know you are educated and modern, but a woman still cooks food for her husband. What will you do if your husband asks you for chapati, and what if they aren't round... even if you stay alone you have to cook. Every woman should know cooking,if the cook doesn't come the house cant go hungry!."

Why am I groomed to keep a guy happy, someone I may not figure out before I have 2 kids with him, someone I may, not even meet before i get married...
Why do we learn to cook just to satisfy the mystic creature called the husband?

Any Day

2009-09-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

There are days when life is beautiful. Even the idiot at workplace, looks like a court jester. The sun seems to smile or if u like the rain, then it’s rainy and the weather makes you feel like a soft toy...

Then there are days when, you’ll curse your favourite cricketer, because the same idiot at work, tells you, you need a brain lift. You’ll kick your door and manhandle the remote. Not realizing that, what it needs is just a change of batteries.The telephone bill, electricity bill, water bill, and all the bills of livelihood, chose this very day to arrive.

And all you can ever manage to say is that blessed four letter word!

Gray

2009-09-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

There lies beneath the surface,
another layer
A layer not white
A layer not black
A sheet of liquid gray

Between you and me,
What lies there?
It's pure white
With him it's dark black
Is there no time when you turn blacker
and he whiter
untill what reveals itself is the gray
Then who do I go to?